Sunday, November 23, 2014

..geT it togeTHer

....SomeTHING to snack on...


Our spiritual leader said something along the lines of how we treat strangers with respect by saying, things like excuse me, or letting them go in front of us when in line at stores or traffic and even say hello and spark a friendly convo with them...

...why don't we show our own family members this same respect????

You can not tell me that you never had a bad mood/moment when you snapped at your children, parents, spouse or siblings and if you think I'd believe you; reality is real and lies are fiction!

I noticed I tend to snap at my family and apologize over a million times and explain how its had nothing to do with them and it sucks because the damage is done, even if they do forgive you.

I mention this because no one should get treated better than your family. I don't care if they're criminals or church board  members.

Your family is the one who accepts you when you make the dumbest moves/ decisions that embarrass everybody with your DNA, and may have distanced themselves but didn't turn their backs.

" its just a faze, they'll be alright..."

Family also can't stand you, love and gossips about you to your face and behind your back but yet, they still claim you.

I understand that some of you have those family members that say how much they cut you off and how your not even considered their people, but that doesn't mean you have to be the same way.

It sounds dumb only to the immature and smart to the "real grown folks"!

I wanted to kick my own ass when I saw my baby's big brown eyes hold back tears as I yelled at her for just being a little girl, you get me?

Let me walk in the store and..." I'm sorry, am I in your way,...Your daughter/son is beautiful, how old is he/she,..is that all you have, you can go ahead..."

NOW, FLIP IT...

"If you don't back up off me,...Don't you think he/she's too big to be riding in a stroller with a bottle,..is that all you have, your gonna have to wait a long time cuz I got this cart full and you gotta let my daughter by with the other one."

Little do we realize, this is stuff we would and have said or done, in general, and do it because we're comfortable with them, and take advantage as if its normal to act how we want towards our people. It doesn't sound like something that you or I would take lightly if a stranger came up to us and spoke to us that way...like Madea said, "call the po' po"!

WE got to get a grip on how we treat our family members or at least correct ourselves when there's no good reason to act stank towards them. My baby had nothing to do with my bad day and I snapped at her until I realized what I was doing. I sound like a straight monster and if I was walking by a house and heard all of that, I'd thing an adult was being yelled at. I'm wrong for that. I love my baby so much and the last thing I want to do is make her feel like she's not worth my love.

Just like a pet greets you at the door, the babies do too. They are the welcome wagon to the end of a hard days work. It would be awkward if they never came up to the door and you had no one to tackle you with hugs and smiles. I expect it, and I'd miss it if it stopped.

Just like a pet sensing something wrong, the babies huddle around and "sniff" you out, out of concern and try to find ways to make you feel better. And just like a pet, if you yell and scream at them, they will eventually go away sad or sometimes even hide.

I don't know, I'm not a psychiatrist, I just analyze myself and shared...

Do what you want and be conscience of it.


Thursday, November 20, 2014

...BOOMerang

Same ol, same ol,

Ain't been the same though,

Hard to explain though,

Gotta let my feelin's show...

Hide the things you want to see,

Frame Roger Rabbit, then blame me,

Its alright cuz,

Its all a game,

People go and,

Seasons change.

People change,

Seasons too,

Allergies to bullsh*t,

Ah-choo.

I see your style, and played you close,

When kissin' ass,

You do the most,

Then brag about,

Your independent heart,

You sound real dumb,

When you try to sound smart.

But its ok, that's how you are,

I'm proud of you,

You came this far,

You'll be complainin',

That's how you do,

You helped me out,

More than you planned too.

So I'm not mad and thank you much,

This Queen right here,

You Can't Touch!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

...eXhale

...I was always told that a dove is a sign of peace...

One of my most stressful mornings, was this morning.

During the unexpected detour due to my frustrations leading me else where,

I saw a pregnant dove sitting in the road.

Ok girl, get out the road before you get hit,

what are you doing there,

...looking comfortable in the cold?

Sitting on the icy pavement with your tummy on the ground...

What symbolically was she doing there?

All these thoughts popped in my head so I attributed them,

To myself.

I think everything has a lesson in it, she was mine to learn from.

Lets see...

Maybe being out of my element for so long, caused me to become bitter and cold

Like the air and the temperature of my skin when I'm working with 90% giin.

Uncomfortable cold 21 degrees,

Please God bless me with another job.

Its getting unbearable,

Situations where the revelation of demons and negativity become appearent when the,

Sheep's carcass slides off the face of the wolves.

Grinnin ear to ear as puss drips from the fangs,

Where falsehood was once uttered.

Stutter, at the shock of it all,

I fall way back in to defense mode,

Defending my job, my babies will be taken care of,

Reserving my sanity, but now its time to get a lil crazy,

Maintaining my position,

Life riskin, parent mission,

Had to take a moment cuz i'm tired,

Retire to the nest, take a load off my chest and vent,

Maybe these are the things i must foresee in my future to know that,

My struggles will pay off,

Maybe its that peace that I've been praying for since I was little,

Maybe all that I'm doing is right and I'm almost done,

Bout to give birth to peace, sit back and chill.


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

...it Is What I thinK it is...

Satan isn't to blame for all our downfalls

Only succeeding in his persuasions we surrender to.

I don't believe every challenge is a test from God,

But some of us struggle with the pages of life,

While some of us pursue its chapters...

Disappointment is an expression that we decide to reflect,

Happiness is and expression that we decide to reflect...

Therefore,

No one, nothing can make you feel what you decide to feel,

So we can choose to struggle with life's pages,

Or pursue its forthcoming chapters.



Wednesday, November 5, 2014

...a Pause in TIME...

Can you house something such as emptiness but

Feel full?

Being weighed down by nothing,

Heavy lungs, head hung low,

Slow moving in a daze,

Wondering why you sigh,

After a motionless energy,

Paralyzes you in the moment?

Don't it,

Suck when you can't leave down and,

Go up, stuck in the muck of,

What, I don't know..

Just feeling low, to the flo'

Can't think no mo'

Full to the capacity of,

Empty and blank thoughts,

Thick calm, no brainstorm,

No ideas to form,

Luke warm,

Blend right in with the norm?


Monday, November 3, 2014

....HIghs and BeLows

The growing scream hurts my head,

Between walls of pressure,

Bursting with rage, unleashed, relief,

From the thing called stress, or test of time,

This time, will I pass, again or fail and have to

Repeat same things in,

New ways more challenging than the last,

Want to blast out of this cycle of misery,

Constantly pressure building as I,

Grit my teeth and smile menacingly at the,

Sideline cheerleaders, fear-leaders,

Egging me on, this journey which only my,

Hopes eye is wide open,

Hoping that I,

Don't lose all that I put in, don't want to start over,

Again,

Time runnin out,

Sand fillin the bottom of that glass known for its hour,

Squeezed through its narrow neck,

Choking on butterflies,

F*ckin with my stomach

Wishin someone else was wearin my shoes,

Boo hoo, tears make the woman grow stronger,

Live longer and conquer this,

Challenge of life called stress,

I mean, stress called life,

I meant, life's challenge that's,

Stess-full but not bad like, ones before,

Happy to close those doors and,

Hold my breath when the next one is,

Opened...

Like running a race barefoot on stones,

Being chased by a pack of wolves in,

The winter...

ONly way to survive is keep moving